Dosha Dating: Alphas Throb From Cuffing Season to Valentine’s Day
Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match…
From Cuffing Season to Divorce Month and Valentine’s Day, humans are on a tricycle of love-me-love-me-nots.
Lovers and lonely hearts are linked like star-crossed Shakespearean teens because of one question: Is the RO still out there?
Emily Blunt and her fiancé in the rabbit onesie had The Five-Year Engagement because the right time seemed to never show up. Until it- and they- did. Before that, she reasoned that her old PhD advisor was a more suitable match and her fiancé emotionally devoured old donuts. Eventually, committing to themselves before they committed to each other delivered the right time.
Too commonly, questions about the Right One persist longer than Hillary.
Few had a gut feeling, others found the one when they were not looking, some found it right in front of them and a lot took the ‘love it or leave it’ ultimatum. We keep hearing these cross-generational romance antidotes from movies, grandparents and what seems like everyone within a mile radius. Probably because these are true love stories and the ones delivering them are the ones it worked out for. Were they just the lucky ones while you were out Galentining?
Anne Hathaway realized her match was not matching when that Chris guy said he’d be perfectly happily sitting at home watching TiVo decades into their geriatric marriage. Her Kapha elements let her get too cozy in an uncomfortable situation.
Have you also become lethargic about love?
THE $CIENCE
Before we daydream about the RO, let us slow down and focus on a suitable partner like disciplined little meditators. Who can micro-mance you before you find your future-proofed mate? Are we a Tom and Meg in Sleepless or Mail? This is the choice between “magic” mates or taking opposites to the mattresses. (See how we Godfathered that?) Having Taylor and Kelce sideline dreams? These are two intense Pittas driving their money and career goals. Cher and Josh… never mind, that’s a Clueless step(brother) too far.
From soulmate to twin flame, we either complement each other or are a Mary-Kate and Ashley oddity. Both really depend on one word: endure.
How high a dosage of yourself can you really take? Or how long can you live with constantly being reminded that you need to improve yourself?
On The Same Alpha Wave
Sorry Galentines, significant others know her better. Unlike Ted Bundy, facets of human love traces to the PFC (prefrontal cortex).
To attain elevated couple status, strengthen interbrain alpha waves in the PFC. This is a heart of emotion and empathy- basically, we are serial killers if our PFC does not function properly. The best lovers know how the other feels without being in the same room. They are your person. The more in-synch, the more robust the relationship. Romance also allows the brain to coordinate perception and expression. Specifically, significant others are let in on feelings that we do not readily reveal to our friends.
Because love is love is love, we have no desire to leave Galentine’s out in wintry February streets like cold galantines. BFFs alpha synchrony may not be as high. BUT! Temporal lobe activity is higher between friends than lovers, making a case for knowing certain aspects about her than the BF. Let us just leave it at you each get her on a certain level.
Since most of us do not carry around a brain scanning kit to read our love interest’s forehead, how do we make a love connection?
Establish emotional bonds is more challenging in the era of social media. Everyone is increasingly disconnected from valuable human-human interaction. Time together (50 years vs 5 days), personality traits (calm vs nervous), and general likes or social foundations (family background) play a role in establishing and maintaining romantic and platonic connections.
A Kiss of Doshic Energy
Personal energies, or doshas, determine how we react, what we like and how we get along in the world. These factors determine friendships and love-ships. According to the dating app Bumble, women highly value attentiveness, economics and focus.
Emotionally processing micro-mancing may intensify gamma rhythms (31-49 Hz) in 53% of romantics who need hints of adoration. Seek out nurturing Kapha who is ready to devote their time and ears to their loved ones. They are a bit creative too, so listen in for that mixed tape. Sorry, we mean playlist.
Just like TLC on the cusp of the millennium, almost 100% of singles definitely do not want a flake or a “scrub”. Type-A Pitta provides better coverage than State Farm. This focused dosha has a financially keen executive persona. Conceptualizing a responsible future together may stimulate alpha synchrony (8-12 Hz).
Only if love were as straightforward as electroencephalography and a Bumble survey.
Tastes, personality and physical characteristics constitute romantic wants. Unfortunately, most daters do not know what they really need when swiping right. Here is what is easy and complicated to love about each dosha.
Kapha
Kaphas are level-headed mediators. Well, except when greed takes over or emotions are eaten. Mostly, they are harmonizing. These huggers are great listeners and nurture their pals, so that can turn into a one-sided take-advantage-of-me scenario. Swipe right on Kapha if you like to sleep in, but do not expect any long heart-to-hearts when you need to know why they are moping around the studio apartment in sweats for the fifth consecutive day. If you are just shy of non-clinical OCD neatness, then Kapha’s clutter may drive you across that obsessive line. This Opposite Attraction does not need to prove fatal- hit the long-distance running trail together instead of the morning snooze button. They likely last longer than you expect.
Pitta
Pittas are very logical, sometimes to a fault. They have icy compassionate hearts because business is business. So, beware of what you covet, future-proofers. Pitta-types dominate, have no filter, and might go full Naomi “Cell Phone” Campbell in a heated debate. After you have walked out the door and onto someone new will they realize their mistakes. If you have the temerity to Pitta-twin-flame, self-reflect on nature hikes, micro-mance with weekly flowers, and definitely do Dry January together instead of Divorce Court.
Vata
Vata’s agreeableness, sensitivity and perceptiveness rate high on relationship personality analyses. Their moodiness does not. Vata’s inability to sleep may increase this temperament. They love exploration and creativity, which can get ahead of the them and ignite anxiety. If you just cannot shake the Vata out of your heart, then recognize their traits and support them. Establish centeredness, tranquility and sensibility with an evening routine. First, remind them to eat by cooking for them a warm meal like vegetable stew. Later, light a candle and invite them to a Trataka mediation session. Then, take them to bed early to intercept insomnia and GI issues.
BOTTOM LINE
Finding the so-called Right One takes more than a swipe and a list of objectives. No love story is as epic as Ram and Sita’s. Not every couple is as swoon-worthy as Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. Dali and Gala remain surreal status symbols- dream couple, indeed.
Coupling up, for the cold season or life phases evermore, requires energy of the heart and mind. Differentiating wants from needs is an essential start. Realizing how to adapt and feeling someone else’s situation increase stable emotional cognition and strengthen bonds. Also, a little flexibility with our personal energies brings a lot of personal and domestic balance. Kaphas find adventure, Vatas live in reality, Pittas embrace imperfections.
